TGIF.
I thought I would share with you what I actually do with my time when I’m not building my hour count. This is one of those moments I wish I had a squinty-eye tongue out emoji.
Or in other words, why I struggle to allot time at ‘being a better actor.’
This has been the case for a while, but especially since being in New York – I work my ass off at getting auditions. Meaning, I spend a couple hours AT LEAST every day, usually more than that, finding breakdowns (in film and tv) where there are roles suited for me, and then making sure I’ve been subbed on those roles by my reps and that they are going to pitch me on said roles. I work primarily with my manager on this, although I’ve started reaching out to my agent more.
If you want to know how I do this… I guess you could message me privately. But suffice it to say – I have my methods. This does not include Actors Access or Backstage, FYI. I am going to start using Backstage however now that I am in New York and wanting to audition for theater.
It truly depresses me how much time I spend doing this. I feel like a dog chasing a car. I won’t know what to do with it (the audition) once I get it. (I mean, that’s not totally true, but it is part of why I started this project – to force myself to work on sides more often, whether they are mine or not.) It eats up my morning and early afternoon. I also started a Book A Job Challenge this week. (Anyone familiar with Dallas Travers – #shoutout.) I’m targeting five casting directors in New York for the next six weeks and I’m going to book a recurring costar on Mr. Robot. Das right.
But aside from that: I wake up, usually around 8 or 9 now that I’m out of my jet lag period, after which I lay in bed for an hour (I try to make this time educational, or go through breakdowns), make coffee, feed Bo, meditate for 15 min and journal for 15 min. This is standard but there are exceptions – meaning there are days where I will only meditate or days where I will only journal or days I do neither. Coffee is standard and without fail.
I eat around 1:30/2 since I am doing intermittent fasting (16 hours off, 8 hours on) and that usually doesn’t take more than 30 min because I precook my food on the weekends. Again – usually. Thank God I started doing this. Because I am like the freaking Emeril Legassi of Bushwick these days. Lots of veggies to chop and spices and onions and peppers and what starts out as like, oh I’ll make a quick soup for lunch becomes A TWO HOUR PROCESS. WTF.
So this gets me into 3-4pm territory, which is usually where I flounder around like a bitch because I am tired and I lose my momentum. The evening is a toss-up.
Writing this is… disturbing in so many ways. Because while I try to be a Nazi with my time, I will get to the end of my days and be like… where the fuck did it go. And also what did I do. My memory is abysmal. Sometimes I can’t remember if I did a thing that morning, or was it yesterday morning, and even when I think I know, I don’t trust it. This has gotten worse as I’ve gotten older #ofcourse. Most of the time that gets 'lost' is me walking around my apartment, shuffling actually, making tea, cleaning--I am perpetually, endlessly cleaning like a freakin nut--being fanatical as fuck about my belongings, tarot readings with my roommate and getting distracted by social media or my phone. Usually my phone because I’m pretty good at avoiding SM these days.
I try to think about Tony Robbins in moments like these: We overestimate what we can do in a day, and we underestimate what we can do in a year.
I used to be a grass hopper. Now I am an ant, diligently constructing my multiple piles. I will say tho that I do better when I chunk out my time or set small, super achievable goals. Like 'I’m going to work on this interview for VIPKid for an hour' and time it. (That’s where I plan to make my money outside of acting – pls pray for me. Interview is next week.)
It goes without saying – there is room for improvement. And any suggestions I am all ears. But no change can be made without awareness, and I am hyper aware of my failings/challenges.
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